So You’ve Decided to Shave Your Head...

St. Baldrick's is still going on. If you're of a mind to shave your head, please let me know. I'll not only donate, but I'll also set you up with Christopher so you can do it for the right cause. I posted this first Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Congratulations on taking your most significant hair-related stand since that time when you changed your part. (If you're a dude... women change their hair color like we change socks, they're used to dramatic changes.) But before you act, please consider these helpful tips and pointers.

1) Sunscreen. Not just after (although if your pigmentation is anything like mine, the scalp under your mop is about as fish-belly white as anything pulled from the bottom of the deepest mineshaft), but before, too. Going under the razor after a day in the sun will result in a comical but embarrassing head pattern that resembles a dumpling in raspberry sauce.

2) Be prepared to look funny. This might seem obvious, but you really have no idea how important hair is to your appearance. Your ears aren't right without hair around them, your forehead may seem suddenly huge or small, and there are some surprises under the scalp, too. You might be a secret pinhead, or look like an uncolored Jack Kirby sketch of Mrs. Grimm's ever-lovin' blue-eyed boy. Eyebrows and facial hair that looked just right beneath a follicle thatch may now be shocking or stark. Facial features that were exquisite when framed by your lovely locks might appear insubstantial after the mowing. Prepare in advance by shaving or growing something. I suggest you start with nose hair.

3) Bring a hat. And don't be surprised to discover that it fits differently afterwards. I've always known that I have a head that would cause Charlie Brown to gape, but I had no idea how much of it was hair. Hats that once did not fit now do, and the rare lid I was able to find that fit over my melon now is looser than before. Refreshingly so, if I may add.

4) Have a damned good reason. For decades, I'd sworn I was going to do this every summer, when my thick hair became a coonskin cap in the Texas heat. But mere comfort was never enough -- I knew my wife would kick my ass if I just did it because it felt good. Or worse, would then have carte blanche to do something just as dramatic herself, and I wouldn't be able to say anything. But if you're doing it for a good cause, ah, now no one can complain... they can still laugh at you, but not complain...

St. Baldricks is an organization devoted to research for children's cancer. Were you aware that 70% of cases of cancer in children is cured? Damn, a cause that actually does something, that's worthy, isn't it? Why not visit my page and drop a buck or two into the bucket?

Thanks to Christopher for both doing the job and alerting me to the cause. Go to his profile and check out the picks under "What Lurks in the Shadow?" if you want to see some scary stuff.