Today's the last day!

There was an election day just a couple weeks ago. I didn't bother. Not even sure what was being decided. Wish I'd gone to the horse races instead. I hear Kinky's running as a Dem next time. Maybe he'll get elected. That'd be fun. Posted Friday, November 03, 2006

That's right, this is the last 50 cent Friday out at Retama Park! Last chance to watch them ponies run and gorge on hotdogs and beer for two-bits!

Yeah, all right, it's your last day to vote early. Do it today, or you'll have to wait in line with the chumps on Tuesday.

I'm a little surprised at how terrified everyone who claims a party affiliation is about Kinky Friedman. Republicans I know think he's going to split the conservative vote. Democrats fear he's taking votes away from their (invisible) candidate. Libertarians... well, Libertarians aren't scared of anything, they already know better than to think that they can get elected.

But the thing about Kinky, he's got a shot at it. The Democratic candidate for governor, Bell (what's his first name? Chris? Art? Archie and the Drells?), he might as well not even be running. He's got a very serious chance of coming in fourth. (But he'll beat the Libertarian, you can take comfort in that). Good Hair and Gramma Straylander, they've got Baja Oklahoma tied up. That leaves the real Texans, those of us south of Waco, with only one vote -- the first independent candidate since Sam Houston who has a real shot at being the Governor of Texas, my man Kinky Friedman.

You say his politics bother you? Well, clearly you're looking too closely. The man has no politics. He wants to put more guardsmen on the border to keep out Mexicans? Okay. My solution for the "problem" of illegal immigration would be to decriminalize it, just let anyone who wants to be an American be an American, that's what it's supposed to be all about. But I'm not going to vote against a candidate for that stance -- it's no different than anyone else's on the ballot. (Except the lackwits who want to put up a wall, but really, why even talk about them?) He wants to bring casino gambling here, to help pay for schools. Because, hey, it worked so well with the lottery, right? Idiocy.

But he has a health-care initiative, he wants to stop the teach-to-the-test ridiculousness, he wants to pay teachers, he wants to legalize smoking (of all sorts), he has a plan for developing renewable energy and ending redistricting. He's for equal rights, he takes care of animals. He has a sense of humor.

Look, you know, I know, everyone knows it, Rick Perry's getting re-elected. We'd all like to see something else happen, even Republicans, but he's coming back. He has good hair, and he has the endorsement of no less than Chuck Norris. And being Dubya's hand-picked successor might be a negative anywhere else, but inexplicably, it means something here.

So make your vote count. Vote for someone instead of against someone.

Anyone who wants to hit the track tonight, give me a call! Let's go watch the horsies run! Fifty cents!